Month: December 2014

I’m going to start a new mantra

About my abuser. I can’t seem to stop looking at their tumblr. I blocked them on facebook but then ‘accidentally’ found their tumblr and looked at that instead. And sometimes I consider unblocking their facebook. When I look at their posts I am filled with anger and anxiety but I still do it. I don’t know why.

My mantra shall be:

This person is OK.

This person is ALRIGHT

This person is OK


It doesn’t matter that I am not there to support them emotionally. That is not my responsibility. It never should have been. It doesn’t matter that they now know how to be kind to their friends but it was too late for me, so now I will never be treated kindly by them. Why do I have this powerful longing to be treated kindly by them? I have people in my life who do treat me kindly and they are what should matter to me. It doesn’t matter that they will never truly know how much they hurt me. Abusers often don’t think they are abusers. It doesn’t matter as long as they treat others better now. But even if they don’t it’s not my responsibility.