Month: June 2015

More job hell

I didn’t make it through Saturday at work. I started out ok but then I had a couple of passport form customers that sucked. First was a woman who swore in my face throughout and interrupted me while I explained something with ‘ok can you hurry it up? I have to be somewhere!’ So I bashed the paperwork through and handed it back, but if she comes back for the second check and there’s errors and she says ‘why didn’t the first woman tell me about this?!’ I will be extremely pissed off. Why do they come to use this service when they don’t have time? It takes time!!

The second was a woman who insisted on being seen by me immediately. We have a special counter for passports where you can queue there instead of the main queue, and my colleague (just the 2 of us on the counter) was already doing a passport while I was free and waiting for the inevitable Saturday rush. But as I was free she decided to come over to my counter, and cut me off during my explanation that she’d have to wait for my colleague because I had to be free to serve people wanting shorter transactions. She said ‘I’ve been waiting half an hour!’ (it was 10-15 minutes maximum, they think we don’t notice these things but we do) ‘and I had to wait half an hour to collect the form the other day as well!!’ (great, now they are saving up all the other times they waited to hit us with as well.) So of course I checked her form, thinking it was better than insisting and maybe being accidentally rude like I often am. But I was still not happy with how she acted. And of course a queue was building up while I did it as my colleague was still busy. But then afterwards, my colleague starts insisting that I should have tried harder! By saying exactly what I actually did say that didn’t work! What am I supposed to do, say it again? I felt like such a spineless pushover then. 😦 I really wish my colleagues wouldn’t do this whole ‘you should have said’ or ‘why didn’t you say’ thing. It’s too late once the customer’s gone. Just leave it. Plus she’s the same one who makes comments about me being angry and stressful to be around. If I hadn’t been able to keep a nice tone in my voice and this woman got offended then wouldn’t that have been a problem for my colleague too??

After that I could feel myself starting to get wound up. The tiniest thing infuriated me. Like I couldn’t open a box of forms first time so I ripped the card angrily and dropped the box and forms fell everywhere. Luckily there were no customers waiting and my colleague was in the office so no-one saw. I picked them up and shoved them away at top speed. But a fresh wave of customers was there and I was feeling worse than ever. I was convinced customers were picking on me all the time. I felt snappy but also sensitive and weak. One customer, an elderly woman, got shirty at me for asking if she was using a credit or debit card (we check so we can inform customers there’s a charge for credit cards, also the system doesn’t work if you select the wrong option) ‘it’s just a card why do you need to know!!’ I ended up getting sucked into an argument which I regret. After she’d gone I thought ‘that’s it, if I can’t control my temper with customers I have to go home, it’s only going to get more stressful towards midday and I will only get worse.’ Luckily it turned out there was one of my colleagues in the building who wasn’t timetabled but came to work by accident. He was in the office doing some uni work. He’d already refused the offer of a short break-covers shift but I went up there and pleaded with him to cover me. Which he did, he’s so kind. So I went home and spent the day not looking at customers and not hearing the inane things they say and the hurtful words and unfunny jokes and not having to ask the same questions over and over again or deal with queue complaints or have to put mail out when there’s a queue with everyone looking at me. Then it was yesterday and today off (timetabled) but I’m back tomorrow and I have 4 full days and a half day. And my least favourite colleague will be back from holiday. And the boss will be back too. I can’t be even slightly angry in front of him, I’m already on the verge of getting in trouble because I tend to argue back to customers instead of walking away. I wish I could control my emotions better. This is really serious. My job does not allow people to half arse it, my boss is always watching and he expects 100% from us at all times. There is no back room I can hide in to be away from the customers. Apart from my breaks it’s customer face to face time, all the time. I hate it.

job hell

Today at work was really bad, like fucking horrible. I felt the panic building up from about 10:30 after my morning break, worked through it for several hours until something happened that I can’t remember what but I felt myself shift into a different mode. I slowed down to about half speed and my voice came out slurred, I kept losing concentration and customers would tell me things but the information wouldn’t go in. Then I started missing important bits of informaiton customers gave me and putting their parcels through wrong. The queue was out the door but at about 4:30 I couldn’t take it any more, I hid in the office and sat with my head down, every time I looked out the queue was still out the door like it would never end. I knew I was leaving my 2 coworkers in the lurch but I couldn’t help it, I could barely stand, I couldn’t go out there. But then it was 5pm and time to cut off the special deliveries so I dragged myself up and went out there again. The postie turned up while I was lugging bags about, not knowing whether I was coming or going. I don’t know how me did it but we got that mail out the door. But not before some woman started on at me about the queue’s too long and it’s just not good enough, I’ve been waiting 25 minutes for just one stamp, the usual. I just kept on pulling the bags into place like I hadn’t heard her because if I opened my mouth I’d just mumble or say something wrong. But she’s still staring at me like I’m about to say something that will make everything better, like no! I can’t! I can’t say anything to make you not have waited 25 minutes and I’m in such a state I can’t say anything you want to hear! I started to hyperventilate and hold my head and suddenly she stopped looking at me and turned back to the queue, which I guess was good but auururrrrgh, I’m in such a mess.

At the post office the only thing that could go so badly wrong for anyone management related to actually change anything is if the day didn’t end for some reason. But, it did. It always does, and nothing ever changes. Every day that’s horrible now is worse because of how I know it won’t get any better. And I’m expected to think up ways I can feel better at work, as long as it doesn’t include working in any conditions that aren’t absolutely the same as they are now or asking that certain colleagues take the pressure off me a little by managing their time better and not, say, engaging each customer in a 5 minute conversation that has nothing to do with any service we offer. If I can’t think of anything then well, they tried!!! What do I want?! HATE THIS PLACE.

Tomorrow is Saturday, the worst and most disorganised day of the week. I upset my boyfriend earlier by ranting on and on. I don’t know if I’ll make it through tomorrow. Every minute feels too long. I don’t know what’s wrong with me if I’m even like this while medicated.

My comment about weeaboos from Captain Awkward letter #715

Content warnings for this one: weeaboos, racism and fetishisation towards Japanese people. Sexual harrassment. Sex mentions.

I made a comment on Captain Awkward a few days back on this post: http://captainawkward.com/2015/06/15/715-i-am-not-here-for-your-talk-of-boys/#comments which could probably do with some clarification. Basically I’m doing this because the thread is closed, also it would definitely be a derail so as the Cap always says, I’ll talk about it on my own blog. Plus someone might click in. I think someone already did as I don’t usually get any views.

(more…)

Random unnecessary gendering

My boss genders the parcels. Like, when he’s asking someone to pass the parcel to him so he can put the label on it he says ‘pass him through’. Or when the parcel needs weighing he says ‘pop him on the scale’. Every. Time. It’s. Really. Weird!! I feel like he will never stop but I just can’t stop thinking about when he told me to shut up talking about the new 10 euro notes to every customer. Maybe it’s time to stop gendering parcels?